I was extremely amused to hear to the news that Jeremy Clarkson’s dog died. Not that I was actually amused that Jeremy Clarkson’s dog had died, (although if I was Jeremy Clarkson’s dog I would see death as a sweet release from a life of torment in the household of one of Britain’s most loathsome men) it was that Jeremy Clarkson was upset at the reaction to the fact that his dog had died.
Clarkson thinks the British people are all nasty because a small minority made fun of him when he announced that his dog was dead. Apparently Americans wouldn’t have been so cruel.
Naturally. Less of them know who Jeremy Clarkson is.
Clarkson needs to understand two things (I’ll leave aside his raving about Soviet Russia I think….) Firstly, a great deal of the schadenfreude was based, quite simply, on the fact that people dislike him so much and welcome any misfortune, however small, that befalls him. For instance, if one day Jeremy Clarkson set off on a car journey and was hit by a HGV, killing him instantly, I would buy all of my chums drinks and cakes. If he slipped and fell on a kitchen knife at home I would give everyone I knew a fiver out the till.
This isn’t about the dog, it’s about him. Only the tiniest, tiniest minority of people would be happy at the death of a dog. And you know that everyone who would be watches Top Gear in any case……
Secondly, the climate of ‘nastiness’ that exists in the UK is partly his creation. Top Gear is a celebration of the type of humour that Clarkson has been on the end of recently and is now objecting to. He and his ideological bedfellows crack similarly spiteful jokes all the time and revel in it. When questioned about it, they dismiss it as ‘harmless banter’ and ‘po-faced Marxist dykes at the Guardian thrusting their political correctness gone mad down our throats’.
Like a child, he is complaining at the taste of his own medicine. Is he really that lacking in self-awareness? Does he not see the irony of his whining? (rhetorical questions obviously). Does he honestly think that its ok to call Gordon Brown a “one-eyed Scottish idiot” but not ok for others to make jokes about his dead dog?
There is another interesting issue here. A spokesman for Immediate Media, that publishes Top Gear magazine (and sometime someone will really have to explain why people spend money on ‘motoring’ magazines. Are they really that desperate to advertise their own horrible inadequacy?) informed the public that
“It was a light-hearted column. His dog had just died and he was quite grumpy.”
He didn’t say it as such, but the implication is that he is acknowledging that Clarkson’s article was a stinker, even by his abysmal standards.
(Who writes light-hearted columns when they are grumpy? And weren’t the jokes about Clarkson’s dog “light-hearted”? Isn’t he using exactly the same defence as the people he is complaining about are probably using right now? “It’s just a joke……”)
Well to me, and maybe I’m being a little a little old-fashioned here, but aren’t editors supposed to, you know, edit, and stop articles like this appearing if they are turkeys? Is Clarkson really that untouchable?
At this point I’d like to say that the reaction to the death of his dog might make Clarkson pause and reflect and what he does. But of course that won’t happen.
After all, there’s no money to be made being nice, is there Jeremy? Your clinically braindead groupies who hang on your every word aren’t interested in that are they? They want someone to confirm their prejudices and make the sub-standard jokes that they think are funny but are still, sadly, too stupid to think up themselves…….