Rejoice! John Terry announces his international retirement

The happiest day of family man and 2009 Dad Of The Year John Terry’s life. Good times. And doesn’t Wayne Rooney look gorgeous? Mega-phwoar!

Regular readers of this blog will I’m sure have been eagerly, nay, anxiously, awaiting the Mambo’s views on John Terry’s retirement from international football.

I’m not a man to disappoint.

There are two obvious observations one can make:

Firstly, Terry is a coward who presumably knows that the FA will in all likelihood not be as sympathetic to his case as the courts of law were when they fell prey to a man with a great legal team found him not-guilty the other week. In fact they wouldn’t be bringing charges unless they expected to win. Which of course they will unless there is another stitch-up. As he said it, it’s there on tape, and we all know that he’s a KKK supporter know exactly what he meant when he called Anton Ferdinand a “fucking black cunt”.

Even a man possessing a several-inch coating of Teflon knows that he can’t win this one.

Naturally, being to self-awareness what he is to race relations, he reckons he’s the victim (it’s his psychopathic side coming out), when the truth is of course the exact opposite. He should have been treated like a leper when the allegations came to light with such damning evidence to back them up. Instead he retained his England place and was allowed to represent his country (and it is a privilege, not a chore) at Euro 2012, whilst his erstwhile and superior defensive partner Rio Ferdinand was left at home for committing the heinous crime of being Anton’s brother.

John Terry has been treated unbelievably favourably up until his point.

Secondly, it’s great news from a football point of view. The Mambo’s low regard for the man’s dubious footballing talents is well-documented. He is no loss to the squad despite the paucity of defensive talent at Roy Hodgson’s disposal. Successive managers felt bewilderingly compelled to select a man who has spent his entire career being vastly over-rated, one suspects largely on the strength of his accent.

It is argued that injuries have deprived him of his previous greatness. Well you could have fucking fooled me.

Of course one of two things will happen. Either he will change his mind and be allowed back in the fold, or we will have to endure endless blogs on broadsheet websites telling us how much we are missing him and how much a difference he would have made had he been available for our latest defeat.

If you are reading this John, look on the bright side. Now you’ll have more time to watch Danny Dyer movies. You’ve got every single one of them, haven’t you.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Robert
    Sep 26, 2012 @ 14:21:08

    I love football have played it most of my life, but since my accident caused me to retire, your legs not working will do this, John terry has been to me anyway a twat, but he’s not the only one you can add a few more to that group including Giggs.


  2. Keith
    Sep 29, 2012 @ 10:44:06

    I agree with Robert (sorry, I am an armchair based Man U supporter admittedly too!) – time and again these people let decent right-thinking folk down but should we really be surprised. My own Mom says ‘Son, they’ve created their own monsters’ and she is so right. So removed and detached are they from the realities of everyday life that they actually believe in their own self importance. And I’ll say it again – would the vast majority of folks really REALLY give a toss if John Terry got wiped out by a bus? (That’s a bit extreme, a bit of an overreaction Keith I hear you cry?) – well at least answer it honestly even if only to yourself! Loathsome and detestable lowest of the low…..good riddance to absolutely bad rubbish.


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