Gideon Osborne. Captain Hair-Dye. International coke-snorting playboy and celebrated raconteur.
The man who is to charisma what the Hitler Diaries were to authenticity.
It’s fair to say that here at Representing the Mambo we don’t have a high opinion of Gideon. We were never fooled by the preposterous claims in the media that he was a tactical genius and have been resoundingly proven right.
He was and is a poisonous little pygmy. Look what happened when he tangled with the real evil genius, Peter Mandelson.
So imagine how amused I was to read of his latest proposals to get the economy he has royally fucked ‘moving’ again. He announced at Tory conference he was going to make it easier to sack employees in return for offering those employees a few shares. Give up your rights, says Gideon, and you can take an infinitesimally small stake in the company you work for.
The vaulting ambition of the man. Truly an Icarus for our times. A prophet pointing the way to the promised land. Tally ho!
While I despise the Tories more than John Terry despises non-WASPs, I have to confess to feeling a pang of pity upon first reading of the putative policy. It is truly tragic. Embarrassing. Risible. An idea from a man and a government with no ideas.
A notion with no relevance at all to the working lives of most people. I’m pretty sure most of us aren’t going to give our bosses a means of easily sacking us in return for a few shares and I’m unclear what Osborne thinks it’s going to achieve in any case.
It is the feeble creation of desperate, flailing, hopeless policy-makers with no connection to reality. Do they think everyone works at PR agencies in Islington?
Of course it feeds into the notion propagated by the government that it is ‘red-tape’ and ‘regulation’ that is strangling the economy. And of course this is a quite deliberate lie, and is merely a ruse for Thatcherite ideologues to attack worker’s rights, something that the right-wing troglodytes that George Osborne is merely the most grotesque example of have been dying to do even when the economy was ‘booming’. They are nothing if not opportunistic and they have had a historic chance land in their laps for a radical shift in the relationship between capital and labour. The economic crisis is something they are determinedly exploiting to ram through proposals that would have been electoral suicide just a few years ago, and they don’t intend to let that chance go to waste.
It’s not exactly subtle though is it? Gideon lacks the finesse and originality of some of his Tory predecessors. I’m sure ideas like this would have been laughed out of Tory cabinet meetings in years gone by.
If this is the best this government can come up with it is a pretty sad indictment of the British left that we aren’t eating them for breakfast.